And so the story goes...

Well let me explain a bit. Currently going through the process of divorce. While not a good thing right now, I am sure that eventually everyone will be ok. My only regret in this is how it will affect my girls. I just have to tell myself that if they were in the same situation I would want them to do what would make them happy. I hope one day they will understand that.

I don’t hate my husband, we are actually friends. We just have a long history of the same old story. One of us has an issue, it gets really bad, we try to work on it, it’s good for a bit, then it starts all over again. I was just tired of the same old circle, I know that in 6 months I would be right back where I started. He deserves to be with someone that is all about him and I deserve to be with someone that I’m all about. I wasn’t that person for him and he wasn’t that person for me. One day we’ll both find it.

After the initial craziness, we’ve decided to be friends and do this as painless as possible. So far so good, it’s just awkward. But I know eventually that will fade too. I’ve spent a lot of time telling other friends with relationship issues that one day it will be ok. I’m now telling myself that. I honestly believe it. I know I will struggle financially. I know that. But I’ve gotten a new position that will help that out. I’m used to doing all the house and kid stuff alone, so that won’t be any different.

I feel like if I’m sitting alone in an apartment someday, the girls at their dads and I’m miserable or lonely, I’ll be ok with that. ‘Cause it’s 100% on me. It’s 100% up to me to get off my butt and do something about it. No more waiting for someone to do stuff. I’m my own tour guide in this life now.

Yes it’s a sad situation for my family but I do believe we’ll come out the other side ok. And while my girls are still and always will be my first and highest priority, I’m SO excited and the life before me now. If anyone is familiar with Jen from Tx, she is proof that there will be ups and downs and tears. But she’s tough and so am I. We’ll make it.

:)